no title is also a title....

Told Jas about me getting a bike license. Read her blog just now and found out how unhappy she was. I hear her. I know what she meant. I know her concern. And above all I know all the danger out there. Maybe she is right. I can always choose not to get a bike or a car. Just take public transport. Much cheaper. Don't need to think so much. Just sit back, relax, sleep and enjoy the ride. All the bike and car thingy are just luxury. Partially correct. There's definitely more to it.

First let me justify why I wanna have my own transport. Let's not look specifically into bike or car. Just transport in general. The very first thing is that I am a regular. I have work to do. Very often I need to go from camp to camp for meetings, trainings and all sort of crap. Having my own transport means I can have a free play of my time. I have time under my control. I am not restricted by the uncertainty of public transport. I do not have to walk all the way from the main buildings to the main gate, then walk another long distance to proper civilisation before I can see some public transports. I do not have to wait for taxi, I do not have to wait for bus, I do not have to wait for MRT, get into one, then got stuck cuz there's some damn problem with the track. All these are precious time to me. I can do so much more things with all those time. Tested and proven. I can do so much more things within a day compare to a friend who have to take public transport all the way. Ask any working adult out there and they'll confirm with you that time is precious and we don't have all the time in the world to do things.

Having my own transport also mean that I can go anywhere I want. I won't have to worry about going back late or anything cuz I know I always have my transport to bring me home. The convenience is always there. I can send my girlfriend right to her doorstep then slowly make my way home. I can go all the way to her doorstep to pick her up for movie. I can go to her school to pick her up after lessons and send her home or go for dinner. All these within a short period of time. I really can't see myself spending 10mins to walk from my office to the main gate, another 10mins from the main gate to the MRT station, 5 mins for waiting at the station. Get on the MRT and squeeze with ppl, then spend another 45 mins travelling to town! What I used to do in 70 mins, I can do it now in less than 30 mins at normal speed. 40 mins... I would have already finished a meal and got a ticket and own my way to do shopping!

Let's talk about going back from town. 5 mins to wait for the bus, at least 50 mins to get to my gf house, 10 mins to send her home, wait another 5 mins for the bus, 20 mins to reach the MRT station, wait another 5 mins, then another 40 mins to my house's MRT station, 10mins to walk home..... 145 mins at least... I can send her to to her doorstep in 30 mins, reach home in another 30 mins. I can leave town at 10pm and still in time to reach camp, bath and sleep. Okie I think you get my point already... don't need to elaborate.

Now we come to why bike and not car. Simple reason. Can't afford to support my car anymore. 640 instalment, 300 petrol, maintenance 200, parking at least 50... all these costs excludes my hp bill, insurance and other craps... I can't disclose my pay cuz its classified but I can tell you about 3/4 of my pay is gone every month paying all these. Its not that I can't afford. But there's no room for any savings. I agree that buying a bike also mean a certain amount of cost. But compare with a car, bike is so much cheaper.

Having said all these view points of mine, I would not deny the fact that riding a bike is freaking dangerous. Especially with all the inconsiderate drivers in singapore, its even more dangerous. I don't need to be the one to screw up. I just need an asshole to lost control of his car and bang into me... that's enough to get me injured. The danger is obvious. The statistic can't be denied. I agree with what jas had said. I know she loves me and is concern about me. She just don't want anything to happen to me. She wouldn't even want to take the chance. She listed out a whole lot of disadvantages about riding and I totally agree with her... every single point. That's why I'm also in my own dilemma. Actually my concern is not so much about me having an accident and getting injured myself. I am more worried about having jas as my pillon during an accident. If there need to be an accident, I really don't wish anything to happen to jas... I can get injured for all I care but she can't. I don't allow. Which is why I told myself, as much as I can, I'll always ride alone.

Well actually all these are topics too far. I havent even got a license yet. One thing for sure. I've registered for the course and I will complete it. Whether or not I buy a bike in the end depends on my financial by then. I don't know.

My darling jas... I just want you to know this... I know you are worried about me. I can feel it. I can see it in your eyes even if you don't say it outright. You are my girl for so long, surely I can detect that strong concern in you. I know I always make decision without consulting you. That's a bad habit that I'm trying to correct. I want you to know that I have my own opinion on this issue too. Just be assured that whatever thing I do, I always have you in mind. Even if I really ride a bike in the end, I'll always have you in mind and ride safely for your sake. I know all these promises mean nothing to you now. But this is really how I feel.... I always wanted to give you comfort. I want to drive you around in a car. I want you to be proud of me. I want you to travel in comfort. But there comes a time when I can no longer afford such great luxury. So I can only settle with a small luxury.... I don't know if you understand what I said or if I even make sense in the first place... but these are true feelings....