Lost

All is lost and there's nothing much for me to say now. There's so much on my mind but its no use typing them out here. I guess its better to keep this record a short and detail-less one so that a few years down the road, when I read back at my blog, I would not be reminded of all these unhappy moments...

A part of me is yearning to cry out loud, but I refused to let that happen... fighting back every drop of tears that tries to find its way out. I refuse to reveal the weaker side of me, even to myself. This conflict of interest between the heart and mind is torturous. I do not need any sympathy or consoling words. I am a trained counsellor myself and I know what I need to do. The world will not stop revolving just because I am sad....

And just as I was trying to move on with life... and pack myself with schedules and appointments so that I will not think too much... I saw this is my planner....
The familiar nostalgic feeling pumps up again. Tears want to flow, but I refuse...

Seriously, I do not know how to love anymore